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Hereward Relay
Sunday 27th November 2011
Alex Downie
Hereward Relay 2011
Book of Hereward Chapter 94
1. In those days, the land of runcambridge was ruled over by Neil, son of Costello.
2. And lo! Under his aegis, there arose a mighty Endurance Committee, whose scions, Big Al, son of Pritchard and Carla, daughter of Brown, did gird up their courage and did mastermind 6 teams for the Relay that is known after Hereward, son of Wake, son of Alarm Clock, who did battle with the Norman-ites in times long gone. (Get on with the report – God.)
3. And lo again! Pritchard and Brown (who sound like a firm of lawyers, but are not), did decree that the teams be named after the Immaculate Coaches of C and C.
4. Thus, running all over the lands of the Fenland-ites were Baldock’s Babes, Costello’s Cockerels, Ennis’s Enigmas (the Ennis, that is the son of Marcus), Holmes’s Heroes, Moss Bros and Vile’s Villains.
5. And the Committee looked upon the teams and saw that they were good.
6. And lo it came to pass that there was no rain and very little mud to contend with, and even a following wind, on the 27th Day of November in the year of Our Lord, 2011.
7. Thus it was that there was no wailing, nor gnashing of teeth, nor rending of garments as there has been in previous years. (Are you sure about the rending of garments bit? – God.)
8. On the contrary, there was great jubilation on the first three legs on account of the winds being in their favour, and they all did rejoice mightily and give thanks to the Gods of the Fens. (If this is true, there will be trouble – the only true God.)
9. Notwithstanding, there WAS a bit of wailing and gnashing of teeth and rending of garments (not club vests, I hope – NC; again, please check your facts – God) by 4th leggers because of their adverse winds.
10. And so it came to pass that our teams performed exceedingly well, and did return in triumph to Cambridge, yea even though there were an hundred and more other teams in the throng.
11. And lo! There were heroes amongst them, who persevered through great and horrible injuries for the common good, those such as Martin, son of Kreetzer and Joe, son of Tucker. And then there were those such as Richard, son of Lyle; Andy, son of Irvine and Carmel, daughter of McEneiry who did transport many runners over many miles indeed.
12. And lo again! There was an hero of another kind, one Dave, son of Edwards, who did complete the 38 miles all on his own.
13. And so it came to pass that all the results were carved on tablets of stone, yea verily then to be transcribed into a more modern medium by the Mighty Webmaster.
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